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05 September 2004 @ 06:40 pm
Getting Lost in Pittsburgh Alone  
Well, I went to church today. First I was late catching the bus because it came every half an hour, not every fifteen minutes as I was told. So I got off at Aiken like I was told, knowing that I had to walk one block to get to the church. But the question was, in which direction do I walk? Well, I picked the opposite direction and walked about two blocks and then turned around. Then some guy driving by pulled over and asked me where a road was, so I told him I was lost and couldn't help him. Then he tired to offer me some job. I didn't even ask what it was; I was so scared. I just wanted to get away. But at least his directions to the church were right. So I was about 20 minutes late, but it wasn't that bad.

Upon walking into the service one thing stood out to me. This was all very traditional. Not at all what I grew to like at EUMC. So I think I'll be checking out some other places. I heard there's a Presbytrian church by the Towers which is very contemporary. But the pastor did say some good things. Most of which struck something in me. One of the questions he asked was, can we be Christians without proclaiming it to those around you? It's a very good question. It would be hard to call yourself something without being able to openly admit it to people. But that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I have trouble being open about my faith with others. In fact I've only ever discussed it with two people; one being Erdman because we have so much in common and the other being Tracy because she always is able to help and say things in a way that makes me want to believe them. She makes things easier to understand for me. I guess you could count Chris in there too because I wrote him a letter for Footsteps. Other than that I don't want to be open. But I have to be.

The pastor used this great analogy of a sponge. He said that some people are not great sponages; they absorb everything around them, but forget about their other duty, which is to clean. And that applies to me. But that's because I'm just not ready to reach out to people and share my faith. I have a hard enough time deciding what I believe in. I don't know how I would explain it to someone else.

After the service I met some of the other students that were checking the place out and I started talking to a girl named Suzie that also goes to Pitt. She seems really nice and we talked while we waited a half an hour for the bus back to Oakland. And while we were standing there on the corner at the bus stop, several cars went by and honked or shouted things at us. It was scary. So Suzie told me about a friend that she runs with sometimes and when people honk at them, her friend turns and waves and smiles at them. It made me smile because it reminded me of something Cholak would do.

After getting back from church I did some cleaning and attempted to do some laundry but I wasn't going to wait for a washer to open up. So I went down to the gym and worked out for awhile. I even wore a sports bra. Aren't you all proud? Then I got some dinner and came back and watched Never Been Kissed. I love that movie. It made me cry like it always does.
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Shane Barnard - His Love Endures Forever <--- I love his voice!
Wotcher?koiuta on September 5th, 2004 09:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Erdman and I talk a lot about doubts. It's good to be able to share them with someone you know doubts at times too.

Yeah, Pittsburgh by yourself is really scary. Glad I met someone to wait for the bus with or I would have been really worried.

When I was lost I wandered into some neighborhood and kept finding dead ends and seeing random people around scared the crap out of me. But it was an experiance and I learned something from it. Don't go anywhere alone. lol
e_squared23e_squared23 on September 5th, 2004 10:11 pm (UTC)
No kidding, don't go anywhere alone! Hey, my name came up, and I feel special, and good grief i'm giddy and very messed up simultaneously!
Wotcher?koiuta on September 6th, 2004 07:16 am (UTC)
Lol, I will try to never travel alone again, but I can't promise it. I'm sure there will be lots of Sundays that I will be on my own. And I can relate to the giddy but messed up feeling. :D And of course you are special, very much so.

Love you lots.